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Many of us can probably remember having that rough day at elementary school when it became one’s turn to get picked on by those once thought of as friends. As we would come home and tell our parents about it, they in turn might have told us to remember that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me.” While that may have been something we tried to tell ourselves, the wounds from those words could still cut deeply.
It has been attributed that Buddha said, “Words have the power to both heal and kill. When words are true and kind, they can change the world.”
Certainly, he was not alone in this observation. Words can be quite powerful, and we should always be mindful of the way even words can change so much.
Back in December, a story appeared on BenitoLink regarding an arrest of a juvenile relating to threats made involving San Benito High School. According to the press release, no credible threat was revealed during the investigation. This is and was good news.
At the same time, one can imagine that parents of students at the high school certainly worried about the safety of their children after the report came out. One can also imagine that school administration had a new large set of challenges to ensure that the campus remained safe for students. I point all this out because, sometimes we like to think that words carry only small consequences.
The reality is that “just” words can sometimes make a huge impact.
The incident caused me to sit down and talk with my children about the importance of their words and to always remember that some things are never funny. Even though we’ve had that conversation in the past, it seemed a timely reminder to sit down and have that conversation with them again. Of course, they assured me they didn’t need the reminder, and in fairness to them it doesn’t appear that they did, but the opportunity to attend and participate at such a wonderful school as San Benito High or any of the local elementary / middle schools is such a privilege, it would be a disaster to lose out on such an opportunity because of “joking” around that it seemed like I should nevertheless remind them.
In high school, I had a classmate who had the tendency to sometimes say not particularly nice things about some people, and then quickly thereafter say “just joking.” After noticing this a few times I pointed out to this classmate that no, in fact they were not joking. Sometime thereafter I came across another ancient saying that reads, “Like a madman who slings firebrands, arrow, and death so is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘I am only joking.'” Apparently, the reply of “just joking” has been used for a long time.
The entire episode served as a reminder to me, to always be mindful of what I say. I certainly can’t say my speech is perfect, it must be something I strive to better day after day.