In a world wrought with abuse and domestic violence, one San Benito County-based nonprofit is working to give shelter to those in need.
Emmaus House, which started operation in 2006, is a nonprofit organization that provides housing and support to women and children who are victims of domestic violence in San Benito County.
As found on the organization’s website, “Emmaus House is a 24/7 operation, staffed with caring and trained advocates committed to serving women and children as they begin their journey towards a life free of violence. We are a place where women are empowered to begin rebuilding their lives and children feel safe, loved and nurtured.”
One such woman who has benefited from the services that Emmaus House provides is Jasmine Stone, whose name has been changed for privacy and safety concerns.
Stone, who is foreign born, married her husband as part of an arranged marriage in 1991. What Stone believed would be the start to a new life in which she would one day move with her husband to America, turned quickly into an abusive relationship as Stone’s parent-in-laws continually demeaned Stone and her husband started a path of verbal and physical abuse over their 26-year marriage.
After moving to the United States in 1993 to be with her husband, who had lived in America since their marriage, Stone was cut off from her family back home and the familiarity of her native country.
When first arriving to the United States, Stone and her husband moved into a five-bedroom house with all of her husband’s immediate family, roughly 15 people, who also moved to the United States with them. While her situation initially eased, Stone was quickly brought back into the abuse cycle and was worried about telling her family what was happening.
“I can’t tell them what I am going through because I don’t want to break their hearts for them making a bad choice,” Stone said in regards to arranging the marriage between Stone’s husband and his family.
Once in America, the frequency of the abuse increased. After moving into their own home Stone shared one incident where after refusing to get into a car with her husband to pick someone up at the airport due to him drinking, her husband, “beat me so badly I couldn’t go out of my house for a month.” Following the event Stone tried to talk to her husband about what happened and was told, “I did not know what happened. You made me angry,” and, “You didn’t follow my command.” As Stone stated, abusers are “totally narcissists.”
It took years for Stone to make her first attempt at breaking away from the abuse permanently. When Stone came to Emmaus House the first time, it would be after a night of physical abuse in which her husband’s actions woke their daughter who entered the room and yelled, “Dad stop choking mom, you are killing her.”
Though knowing the severity of the situation, Stone returned to her home learning that her children were struggling with her absence. Stone also returned due to her husband telling her that he would support her working in a career she had started upon leaving and that the abuse would stop.
As Stone said, “I had hoped he would change, the situation would change.”
It would not be long before the abuse started again.
Stone’s children would ultimately be the catalyst that gave her the strength to leave, as she did not want her children to believe that this kind of behavior was something they should have as part of their life.
“If you love a person you don’t hurt them,” Stone said.
Knowing Emmaus House was a safe place for her to go, Stone returned to Emmaus House in December 2017 and is currently pursuing a degree in cosmetology from Wayne’s College of Beauty in Salinas in order to establish a career she loves, and have flexible hours to maximize her time with her children.
“I feel like I have much love here (Emmaus House), more than my in-laws,” Stone said. “They are so good to me. I love them.”
Part of the safety that Stone is able to have in Emmaus House includes having a private room, groceries provided by the local food pantry, and a staff of trained advocates at the facility 24 hours a day.
Stone still faces struggles including not having money to pay an attorney while going through her divorce, finding a job that will allow her to work two to three hours a day due to her balancing school and her time with her children, and finding affordable housing to be able to move out of the shelter when she is able. Her next steps are to graduate from cosmetology school, have a long-denied reunion with her family, and to help empower younger women to know that they have the ability to take care of themselves by getting trained as cosmetology students in a nonprofit organization she hopes to one day open in her native country.
“If I can make 100 girls or 200 girls independent in my life I’ll feel accomplished,” Stone said.
In regards to domestic violence and abuse Stone said, “It’s not my story. It everybody’s story. We have to stop them (abusers). Everybody has a sixth sense. When something wrong is happening your heart knows. You know when it’s time to go, just do it.”
Stone is one of many women who have come to Emmaus House in the organizations roughly 12 years in operation.
As shelter associate JoAnn Martinez said, “When they come in, they come on broken and don’t know what direction to go. We provide them with support, empowerment, and guidance.”
Lead Advocate Suzanne Lopez furthered this idea when saying, “We’re not here to tell them what to do, we’re here to help them heal.”
As a nonprofit organization Emmaus House runs on the donations that they receive, as well as through money raised from fundraising events such as “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes.”
Lopez shared that all money received goes to help women and children.
As Martinez said, “If it wasn’t for the community and the support they provide we’d be lost.”
In addition to monetary donations to Emmaus House, the organization is currently accepting paper towels, toilet paper, toiletries, laundry detergent, school supplies, women’s business attire, backpacks, and kitchen essentials such as foil and large Ziploc bags.
More information on Emmaus House can be found on the organization’s website or can be found by calling the organization at 831-630-5899.
If you or someone you know is being abused, Emmaus House provides a “24 Hour Emergency Hotline” at 1-877-778-7938.
In case of an emergency always call 911.
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