“HaHaHa!,” laughs the Joker, leaning on his boardroom table demonstrating to his underlings the current joke. “Listen,” he explains, “we passed the law for us. We no longer have to fight laws. We just change them. Simple! HaHaHa! That post office will soon be ours.”
He laughs so hard he finds it difficult to stop.
“Those poor people working so hard to direct and ship all those letters and packages to the correct address will be gone. We’ll get the place run our way. We won’t have to pay much and we’ll be rolling in dough. HaHaHa! Look here,” as he opened a letter, “says right in here about the new law.”
“NOT SO FAST,” resonated a clear, deep voice emphasized by a heavy fist bang smack on the envelope postage stamp.
The Joker stopped laughing to release his shock, “NOT YOU AGAIN!”
“Look right there on the envelope.” The capped visitor pointed to the postage stamp. “The post office called me up just in time to help. My friends at the post office remembered my work that never seems to end.”
“Remove your fist! How can I see what you are talking about?” growled the Joker.
“Right there on the right side of the envelope you will see me,” pointed the Batman. “I will stick to you as long as you are up to your dirty tricks.”
“Oh no! Not Batman on my envelope!” cried the Joker.
“Yep! The post office called and I just flew in,” said Batman. “By the way, where did you get your new outfit?”
“These people here around the table wanted me to ditch my old stuff and dress up just like them,” explained the Joker, unaccustomed to a tie but loosening it around his neck with his ugly finger when Batman’s curiosity made him feel uncomfortable.
“No matter how you dress, I’m on to you Joker,” Batman said. “You’re up to your same old tricks Instead of your underground hideout, your digs occupy expensive office buildings. Instead of your Joker disguise you are wearing a nice suit and tie, but I can recognize you regardless of what costume you choose. Only this time you got the law changed. You think it is a joke and a cruel joke at that,” emphasized Batman.
“O, how I love cruelty! These dumb postal employees really try to serve the public. They spend most of their time explaining shipping zones, postage rates, and proper zip codes plus selling stamps, even though much can be done at the new machines,” gloated the Joker. “The stupid people coming to the windows want to ship packages and ask questions with a real person, but I have taken care of that. My new law, which all my friends in Congress got passed, makes the post office fund their workers’ retirement for 75 years in advance, like until 2090. That is what is so funny! It’s hilarious! No other business or institution can do that because it’s impossible. And that is why the post office will be ours! HaHaHa. It will no longer belong to the people. I really can’t stop laughing,” howled the Joker.
“Well, you had better stop laughing,” cautioned Batman. “The post office called me up just in time. They can figure you out. They are not as dumb as you think. I know the people you work for right here in these office buildings. They like to buy up businesses from which they create corporations to generate large profits. They operate businesses like a dictatorship from a boardroom just like this. They hire untrained workers so they can pay low wages. They will raise the price of postage stamps, including mine. Greedy people like these love to raise prices.”
The Joker finally stopped laughing. He protested, “The law is already passed you can’t stop us now.”
“We’ll see about that,” said Batman. “Your friends like to toss out big words. They like to call a move like this ‘privatization’. They like to repeat words like ‘Too much government’. They add ‘More privatization’. They don’t mention that this ownership transfer is stealing from the people.”
Batman gathered himself up to full height flexing and bulging his muscles in disgust, “The post office belongs to all the people. Since the Constitution was written, the post office has single-handedly kept Americans free and informed as it delivered newspapers to every single small town and village and every single tough town and every single other town. The people will not let you get away with this caper.”
The Joker circled the room with his finger pointing to all present, “We’ve already got the law. HaHaHa! The law is on our side and we are not giving up.”
“You will see,” Batman reassured. “All my friends will use my postage stamp. These stamps give me new life. My friends continue to grow with each new generation. They will join me in this battle against real evil. They will not laugh at your cruel jokes and tricks. They and I will stop you. We understand you Joker when you attack good people. This time the joke is on you.”